Thursday, May 08, 2008

An Uncharted Sea

This past week and a half has been busy. I apologize for the lack of posts, I shall make up for it soon.

(I drew this nearly a month ago during bible study, I finally had the time to color it today)

Over this past week I have been thinking a lot. I have been dealing with a lot of personal stuff. I don't think I have been this emotionally unstable in a very long time. And the crazy thing is that nothing too jarring has happened. The Lord is really just going in and giving my heart an overhaul. A huge comfort for me is that whenever I get in the thick of it I turn to the Lord in prayer and His word. It calms my heart and soothes my mind. I had a starling realization the other day while praying. I say startling because even though I have been praying for years that I would find my solace and peace in Christ, that He would be my contentment, I never really understood what that meant. I realized that some of the little things in life have lost their luster, I felt maybe that that was a sign of me being depressed or something. Why were the little things not getting me excited anymore? It was through this question that the Lord spoke so clearly to me. He reminded me that I have been praying for this for a while now. He whispered to me that He is and will be my source and my fountain. He asked me if I was willing to give up the smaller smiles in life for the deeper joys of a calling, my calling. And to be honest I was scared, and I am still scared. But I am also very willing, as long as the Lord journeys with me, because I have no idea what I am doing.

Lord let not my condition be my source of peace.
Let that rest in You.
This will allow Us to to sail the uncharted seas of my calling,
not to wander on the secure docks of other mens achievements.
I will risk for You.


Michelle said...

This post scares me, because it is exactly how I have been feeling the last week. EXACTLY. It blew me away when I read it.

It's encouraging to know I'm not alone (again).

Very encouraging, Frak.

lclea said...

I find I keep going to Rom.8-18-21. I have been wrestling with God for years about trying to discover who He wants me to be and who I am. I've prayed and waited and searched and now finally it's happening. I'm moving in this direction, but it's taken work. Lessons learned often get revisited and learned in new, deeper ways. Growth for me takes risk and work.
I just discovered your blog, thanks for sharing your words and beautiful creations.

Anonymous said...

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” (Carl Rogers)

I have to keep reminding myself of that, just as you find comfort in prayer. Still enjoying your blogs, your art, and your wisdom.

demilu said...

"But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in." -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
When we seek Christ first, growth follows. This was a great post, thanks.